Here I sit wondering why I cannot sleep. I got up early this morning so I could sleep tonight so I would not be sleepy in the morning....it did not work. I guess when your mind is not tired it really does not matter when your body is just tired. You need to be exhausted before your body just shuts down your mind so you can sleep. Sleep has always been a issue with me. My mom used to tell me even when I was little I did not sleep. Then when I had a child she loves to sleep....even though she is over 40 now she still loves to sleep.
I have always been jealous of those people who could just go to sleep anywhere. As I got older I would fall asleep watching TV but then as soon as I get into bed I am wide awake. I guess TV just bores me....lol.
Anyway I tried just about everything people have told be about....reading just wakes me up..a good book is not to be put down and why waste your time and money buying a boring book? TV is a good one but as you have read as soon as it goes off I wake up. I do not like sleeping aids even the OTC ones seem to linger with me the next day and really do not help me anyway.
I tried thinking only of pleasant thoughts that just seems to give my mind some fuel to figure out how I can relive those moments. I know you are thinking this woman is a pain in the butt and you are right...but I still have a hard time falling asleep and staying that way.
Well it is after 2am and tomorrow is a work day. The wind is still blowing the snow outside and the house is moaning a little. Quite the winter snow going on outside. In my mind a storm is brewing too.
This no sleeping thing I would like to conquer. I used to think it was because other people where always around either awake and bugging me or snoring so loud I could not sleep but I have come to realize that it is just me that is bugging me. I need to get a plan in action and go with it.
I know I have had my issues lately but it started a long time before that. I need to figure out what I want out of my life now. I am a mother and grandmother but I think they take care of me much more now than I do them. I have been a wife and now that is done. I have had numerous jobs. But nothing seems to fulfill me anymore. I just can't put my finger on it.
I think I want to do something but when I do it ....it just misses the mark. I feel like at my age I should know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I guess before life just carried me along. I was just on board for the ride and now I feel like I am on the shore while the boat is cruising away. Getting normal..who am I kidding I just want to get on that damn boat again.
Well hitting the sack again and seeing if that body is sooo tired ; the mind will give me a break.
Good night and don't let the bed bugs bite.
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