Sunday morning

The sunshine is shining it is a wonderful 20something degrees...in Sidney, Mt. that is a heat wave for January. The snow is melting so the ground is slippery for at night it freezes. I feel as if I am in a time warp and all around no one can see me and I am a time traveler. I act normal(?) but inside I am still that scared little girl you used to run into my parents room in the middle of the night to get into bed with them because of the bogey man. What I know now that I did not then is the bogey man is your own mind realizing that you are it. Other people can wrap you in love and make you secure but until you feel secure with your own bogey man it is scary....maybe others would say that is your mortal soul talking to you and others say that you need to find god but it all boils down to just you and your own soul I think. Mine has some rips, holes and a lot of scars. God is on my side as he is with everyone but that free will stuff is scary to me. Confused ...so am I just trying to get normal.