How are ya feeling today.....

Everyone everyday wakes up and wonders.....

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hidden treasures.

My daughter called me tonight to chat but I could tell something was on her mind.  I sensed that she was trying to decide if she should tell me or not.  So I asked her what was up and to go ahead and tell me what it was.
She had been unloading my husbands gun safe  as I asked her to so the family could have their rifles that their grandfather and father had owned, but in doing so she found a pouch with my name on it.  Inside was around 30 small diamonds and a ruby and emerald.  Around 2 years ago I had my purse stolen and inside my purse was my wedding ring pinned to the lining. I did not wear it at work because I am a cook so I always left it at home or if I forgot pinned it to the lining of my purse so I would not lose it.
Before we were married my husband had collected all the old gold and diamonds he could find.  My daughter fresh from a divorce gave him the 1 carat solitare stone to use.  He then went to a jeweler in Sacramento and with his help designed me a ring to give to me on our marriage.  He would not let me see until the week before our marriage.  It was beautiful and when it was stolen I was heartbroken.  He had mentioned to me he was working on another one for me but at this period in our marriage I thought he was just talking.
          I get so angry at him for what he did to his self and to all the people who loved him.  
Will I ever be able to get over this?  I do not know.
All I do know is whatever drove him to do this I pray he is finally at peace.
Some days things seem like they are getting back to normal then something someone says, or does reminds me of him........
I want to think I will stop this but somewhere in my heart I do not think so....this is so hard.
Well I need to go calm down and try to sleep again. Tomorrow is a work day and I have to hang on to some kind of routine and of course there is the money thing too.
Well good night and don't let the bed bugs bite.

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