How did I get here...

Great question and I am sure all of us have asked ourselves this question many a time.  But have you really ever thought about it seriously?  Of all the twist and turns our lives take everyday what makes us end up at the end of the day where we are? Growing up the youngest of 7 kids in a poor household money was not the issue.  I do not remember ever hearing my parents fight...I know you say oh come on but I swear it is true.  The only fighting going on was us kids...we were always at it.  Nothing horrible but just who was going to be the top dog in whatever we were doing.  We were brought up to do the very best at all times so we were sooooo competitive even with each other it was unbelievable.  I remember even after we were grown up one holiday we were at Mom's house and we were playing UNO.  We were so loud  my mom took the game and threw it away and we were banned from playing any board games at her house for a while.  I think why I am always striving to do things so my parents will be proud of me (both have passed..Dad in 1975 and Mom in 2000) is I still do not believe I am a adult.  I always have been the youngest and the wildest in our family.  But how did I get from young wild thing to old calm boring me?  I am boring I know it,  just like most folks my age we have been there and done that.  Life plays funny tricks on you.  When you are young, you are so busy having fun it wears you out and when you get old you are too tired to do anything...lol
My grandkids are 21 and 19.  When us old folks get together, the kids have to listen to how wild and crazy we were.  I do not think they believe it. You know when you are young you think you are the wildest, craziest person or your friend is. Anyway you think those old guys could not even imagine what a good time is much less have one....time marches on and one day soon they will think about all those stories and think my god my Grams was one crazy chick!!
Sorry I am rambling tonight.  I will get back to the question ..How did I get here?
Life is full of tricks.  I think some people figure it out a lot earlier in life than others.  When people tell me they do not care what people think, I always in my head say they are lying.  Most of my adult life I wanted people to think I did not care.  It was easier to deal with my emotions that way.  I guess I still do that but I am trying not to. I hide from people who want to confront me with myself...make me show them what I am really like.  I think that is why I had 5 husbands and I can't even remember all the boyfriends I had.  It was just easier to cut your losses and hit the road.  Start fresh, that way you hide from yourself and your insecurities better.  I always wanted to be the prettiest girl.  I am not the prettiest but not the ugliest either.  I am not the smartest but not the dumbest.  See where I am going with this....I came from a family of over achievers and I am just average.  I said it.  My life was always a roller coaster ride because I did not want to be average.  I wanted to be remembered as something very special.  Well as most of you are saying everyone is special in their own way, blah, blah, blah....   Special my ass.  I was a pain in the ass.  Still am but working on it.
I think being average is maybe something that sounds boring but has it advantages.  Working toward that normal thing....good night and do not let the bed bugs bite.